Debut Entry

Its weird, and I said I'll nvr blog. I have loads of thoughts, but they nvr seem to last long enough inside my brain for me to pen them down. Maybe that's why I've nvr blogged.. Well, at least now I'm gonna start blogging, think its an avenue to vent my frustrations.

I've been here (Adelaide) for about 6 weeks now, and these 6 wks that have passed ain't the happiest days of my life. I always thought studying abroad would be so much fun, making new friends, staying with people my own age, without adults around to chaperone, without any inhibitions. But I was so wrong. I'm starting to miss home. Miss my parents, miss their cooking, miss my friends, miss my room, miss the weather back in Singapore...

I know its not gonna be easy living outside my home, like I know I've gotta be responsible for my own health, my own living conditions, but somehow when I'm are left to do all those chores, I really hit me: I'm on my own now.

I'm feeling down, very down. And I'm not even sure whats bothering me. School's fine, money matters OK, health alright, or maybe I do know what's bothering me. I don't have a social life. I miss xh, gao, xuanz, dean and karen. Miss the times when they're there for me when I'm feeling sad. Miss not having to make new friends, miss not having to "rehearse" what I say before actually saying things. Miss talking rubbish to friends who will not judge me.

Its not like I've got no friends here, I do have. The people I hang around here are mostly Singaporeans, they're a bunch of cool gals but somehow, something is missing. I feel like we're totally of the same clique. I enjoy myself when I'm with them, but... its different from hanging out the gals back home.

I think I'm being over sensitive, somehow I think the people here don't really like me coz I'm yellow & they are white. I'm not unsociable, and I'm not shy, at least not back in SGP. But here I just feel like I can't speak properly in front of them. Am i intimidated by them? I dunno. Or is it because I never try hard enough to talk them? Could it be that I'm intimidating them? I dunno... All these queries are driving me nuts & I can't organise my thoughts into coherent sentances.

Enough of my thoughts for now. Time to do grocery shopping... YAWN